Sunday, November 18, 2007

Wedding Bliss & Realization

So i attended an absolutely beautiful wedding on Saturday evening!

Congratulations to Patrick & Salina for finally gettin married! :D the service yesterday was held in St.Paul's Church the church, u know, i attend every week n the one that my very own parents got married in, i was baptised n confirmed in and also the same church that i practically grew up in! :D

And as we took our seats, i realized something, this was the first Christian Church wedding i attended since my uncle got married which was 6-8 years ago!!!!! gosh!! its been too long! n when i was there, the whole church looked so so beautiful, the flowers were so beautiful, every guest was dressed so nicely and, you could just feel the excitement and happiness buzzing thru the air! the atmosphere was just filled wit love, u cud tell!

And when the procession came in, and the cute lil page boys, the pretty flower girls & brides maids and stunningly beautiful bride walked towards the happpppeeee groom, you could see how shiny & happy the family and friends were... The service had thoughtful passages from the Bible, a nice song and a short message. Then came the vows part! ahh.. my fav..

I LOVE the whole tradition of the exchanging of vows, the exchanging of rings and the sweet first kiss as man & wife.... The life-long wait of saying I DO to the person who;

----- you love with all your heart, who loves you back, who you know you want to spend the rest of your life with and with whom you want to make babies and create your own family wit, the person who you finally truly love MORE than yourself.. that beautiful, pure unconditional love..............

its so beautiful, you know? n the best part of the service that i Loved was the fact that the church was Filled to the Brim with family & frens of both the bride and groom! Oh n btw, the groom is Indian, while the bride is Chinese!! so it was pretty cool to see 1 side of the church to be occupied by Indians & the other side to be occupied by Chinese! lol! ;p

But being there and sittin thru the ceremony & basically being witnesses to this happy couple's wedding made me start to realize and think about many, many things.......

I have found the person tat i love the most, u know... i really have.. n he loves me back, too, but we're of course not together now due to complications... In recent days i have realized many things, namingly; THE fact that i had begun to love HIM more than i love MYSELF. coz i really do, I'll do anything for this guy...... I mean, we get each other, u know, sure we have TONS of fights, like bloody hell alot, but we just have great times too, n we cud have a great future together if it werent for a few factors but the most important factor is the reason tat : if we wud end up gettin married, i ll lose my ENTIRE family, as they will disown me for marrying a Muslim, coz tat'll mean i'll have to convert n they just cant accept tat la.....

And being at the wedding and seeing how supportive the families were just made me realize how much i desperately want MY FAMILY to be at MY wedding, to be supportive of the decisions i make in my life, to be at the hospital when i give birth to my children and u know..... to just be around................................... and i realize tat i cant have tat if i was wit this guy...
its like, i can have him, but im just always gonna be missing them n wishing they were around n ill end up being miserable....
also, ultimately, as much as i love him, i just know tat i will never be happy not havin a dog, not attending church every week, not sending my kids to sunday school..... i just cant ever accept tat...

I LOVE JESUS! haha i do! i know i may not be the best potrayal of a Christian, its true i do ALOT of "un-christian" crap, but i still am a happy Christian at heart.... I Loved how i was in the USA! i was in a Christian home n Christian school n surrounded by good kids, n i was just sooooooooo good! i mean, u'll never believe me until u see, I DIDNT SWEAR FOR 6 MONTHS!!! lol!

haha but i mean i do love being home la... dont get me wrong.
oh my goodness, this is such a strange n depressing blog post! im sorry guys!

ILL BE HAPPIER NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!